Primetime Championship Wrestling: A far too in depth look into why I'm leaving - Primetime Championship Wrestling

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A far too in depth look into why I'm leaving

#1 User is offline   MattTheMiz Icon

  • Main Eventer
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  • Hometown:Cleveland, Ohio / The Queen City
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  • Finisher:Skull Crushing Finale / Figure Eight Leg Lock / Natural Selection
  • Record:7-5-0 / 0-4-0

Posted 02 June 2017 - 02:57 AM

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POPULAR

Well - the title says it all. On the day that Zach leaves, I too am leaving. No this is not me following him out of the door, this is not me being upset with anyone it's just me wanting more fufillment in my life. This is my day, monday through friday.

I wake up - It's usually around 5 AM if I'm working out or 6 AM if I'm not. I snooze because I have the inability to grow up and I finally get out of bed at 5:30 or 6:30. I get ready, I got to the gym I go to work, I sit there for 8-9 hours at a computer and then I come home and for the past 15 months? I sat at a different computer and I wrote. I wrote and I wrote and I gave my heart to this fed. I gave my heart to this fed because I love to write and I wanted this place to succeed and over those past 15 months? Not to pat myself on the back but we did it. Zach and I were tasked with taking over the adminship in the beginning of this year and this dates back to last year when we really took over creative. We were one hell of a team. PCW rose to new heights, we saw a draft, a brand split, a 70 character roster and many people from PCW's past came back and made this place the place to be. This slowly though? THis slowly became not enough for me.

I'd go days without getting things done that I needed to get done. I was getting stretched too thin. I look around my apartment and I'm embarrassed to say it, but it's a mess. I'm not living a good life right now. My work life is sustaining, that much is fine. I still manage to work out 4 or 5 times a week, and honestly my PCW life while slippiing a bit wasn't that bad, but my home life? It faltered. I'm not talking about my relationships, or my friendships, but the quality of living in my apartment? All time low. There just aren't enough hours in the day, but this really hit a boiling point when Zach dropped out of his adminship. There went my PIC, the peanut butter to my jelly, the pepper to my salt, and admirably? Tom stepped back up and took the reigns. This is not me bashing him it's more me admitting the fact that Tom and I? We're just not that good of a team compared to Zach and I. Zach and I were on the same schedule, we had a system and it stopped this place from becoming overwhelming and when he left? I slowly realized why.

You see for weeks, no, months Zach has been the brunt of well the unhappy campers. He'd always tell me about it, but I didn't really take it seriously because I never really experienced it. I don't know if it's because Zach was more available or if it's because he was around longer, but people generally went to him with their problems and then he left. He left and suddenly I was flooded. The plastic wrap stretched over my life holding it all together had been stretched too thin and it snapped. I no longer was having fun, and it became clear to me what I had to do last week when Vida came to me with his problem over my judging. Now this isn't me hating on Vida the person, I love that guy, but I actually want to thank Vida for lashing out at me. I want to thank him because he showed me what in my life I needed to get rid of, what I needed to get away from. Vida's not the only one, but he's the only one I know that can handle a name drop.

As the week went on and I sat at my computer continuing the same routine I found myself putting everything off. I found myself appearing offline in the discord, ignoring messages, ignoring PMs and ignoring writing my RP. I found myself desiring to be outside, desiring to clean this pigsty of an apartment, desiring to spend more time at work just so I'd have an excuse to not write or be on this site anymore than I had to, but instead of doing that. I sat here and I did nothing because my conscience told me I can't leave you guys. You depend on me. This continued until today when I just let it all out. I told the important people in my life on this site what I was feeling. I told Zach, I told Rob, I told Alyssa what I was feeling and what I was going through and they all told me the same thing. 'Be Happy'.

I'm legitimately tearing up right now because I don't want to leave, I want to have time to be with all of you. I want to have time to run this fed AND do everything I need to do in my life but I just don't. Something has to give and it has to be this. This is goodbye for me. This may be goodbye forever from being an admin, from being a roleplayer, but it's not goodbye as a friend. I hope to talk to you all, I miss you all, and I love you all.
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Credit Zach
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#2 User is offline   Killing The Fed Icon

  • The First ASSHOLE Of PCW
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  • Record:4-2-1 // 1-0 //

Posted 02 June 2017 - 03:08 AM

If you and Zach weren't the Admins for PCW, I probably wouldn't have came back. Y'all leaving definitely hit the feels. Hopefully we'll still talk and stuff in the future. Peace out, cuck!
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#3 User is offline   Covenant Icon

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  • Finisher:Twisted Bliss, Spiked DDT / Cliffhanger, Deadline
  • Record:4-2-0 / 0-0-0

Posted 02 June 2017 - 03:25 AM

I'm sorry to see you leave. It really was amazing to work with you, both for feuds and whatnot and for working with you and Zach and me. You're a huge loss for the board and I'm gonna miss you, man.
Big things have small beginnings...
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Credit to Zach for the Signatures


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#4 User is offline   Mikasa Icon

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Posted 02 June 2017 - 06:00 AM

Goodbye buddy </3 *Sobs*
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#5 User is offline   .Levi. Icon

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Posted 02 June 2017 - 06:46 AM

The darker side of admin life :lol: We only see the champagne and the jet setting!

What can be said? A huge part of our recent growth and a huge member of the community. Hopefully you stick around to abuse people if nothing else. RC needs more casual abuse.

I daresay Discord will remain a constant link for many of us... sadly haha.

All the best x
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#6 User is offline   Betty Cooper Icon

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Posted 02 June 2017 - 07:23 AM

:(((( Matt I'm so fucking sad. You really have no idea. I don't think my one liner response to this is really going to do much justice or really give you the proper thanks you deserve for all of the hard work you put into helping run the show and deal with my crazy ass on the every other week I just wanted to give up and not look back, but honestly, if it wasn't for your encouragement, patience and belief in me, I definitely would still be 'THAT GUY WHO NO-SHOWED *kill bill sirens*' to everyone. You have an absoluteness and candidacy within you that has gone unparalleled on here, but in just about any other e-fed I've been in to date.

You are a wonderful and incredibly helpful person, and while it's sad to see you go and leave this part of you behind for the time being, your mental health is 100% more important than PCW. I'll always be around on Discord if you're lurking or need someone to talk to, as I know more than you may think that it can be really easy to complicate yourself within your own escape. If you ever need to talk or learn more queer/Twitter lingo, you know where to find me. <3
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#7 User is offline   Mr. Mojo Risin Icon

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  • Record:7 | 4 | 0

Posted 02 June 2017 - 09:42 AM

You were a pleasure to work with. Thanks for being a great administrator and friend. Beat of luck in life, good brother. Top sweet me \m/
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#8 User is offline   Schadenfreude Icon

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Posted 02 June 2017 - 04:03 PM

Mate you badger me for nearly the whole of 2016 to come back to do a storyline with you, then bail on me a month before :lol:

Well. You and Zach were the dream team, and the pair of you helped me a lot over the past few months with ideas and getting me back in the swing of things etc. For what it's worth I thought you made a great team as well - you were the bedrock on which the new PCW was built and to have you both go in quick succession is a big loss for us all. That being said, your life clearly comes before this place, and I hope this time away lets you recharge your batteries and enjoy your spare time again.

Don't go far though. Pentagon Dark is gonna be my last run, and we need our storyline dammit :angry:
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- Sig credit to Zach
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#9 User is offline   Pootie Tang Icon

  • YOU JUST MADE THE LIST
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Posted 03 June 2017 - 05:16 PM

Nobody cares. <3 ily Matt
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#10 User is offline   Rebellion Icon

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Posted 04 June 2017 - 11:08 AM

Aww I am sad to see you leave, you're one of of many people here who have really helped me out here
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#11 User is offline   Cravate Icon

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Posted 04 June 2017 - 01:09 PM

best of luck in life man, its never easy and it may take you a long time to return (took me 4 years to come back...) that right there is a story on it's own that despite leaving you'll always have that bug to come back and maybe try again.

Hope everything works out for u my guy <3
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